Weight 212.6 up 2.2 lbs. 

 So my diet sins have finally caught up to me.  I was very disapointed however not surprised this morning. I didn't eat well yesterday- I actually thought it would be ok to have full bagel with peanutbutter. Well not that I thought it would be ok- but I somehow convinced myself that those 500 calories wouldn't hurt me. So what did I do this morning when I realised I'd gained wieght. Well I didn't pack a salad for lunch. No instead I bought my lunch- a burger patty with mushrooms and onions, with rice and turnips. Doesn't sound too bad- but I also had about 5 pieces of chocolate as someone brought some back from their holidays. As well as one of those Mr.Noodles packs for dinner. Its like everytime I gain weight I take it as a free pass to go off my diet! Any excuse to cheat... well I went and stocked up with  good veggies and will get back on track tomorrow.  As I've said before, it's never too late to start again. So - here I go again!

Weight: 210.4 lbs.  Down  1lb 

Well it's been a slow weight loss week. I know that the first week or two the weight comes off quickly but I really want to loose at least 2 pounds every week.

 Now to be honest I should actually be happy for any loss this week. I had 3 meals out this week and 2 drinking nights. I was ok on my meals out- one was a lunch so a had a warm chicken salad- no starter or dessert and diet coke. I mean the salad had croutons, goat's cheese and full fat dressing along with 2 slices of garlic bread so it's not like I was an angel. My dinners, I had a pasta dish with seafood. I also had a starter at of fried calamari, and 2 glasses of red wine...and after a night of drinking- yes I did the unthinkable and had fast food. Double buger with fries and ofcourse a DIET coke lol. I crack myself up. My nights out drinking I was pretty good- I had light ciders which were less than 100 calories a bottle- but I couldn't count how many bottles I had so again good intentions but not good results.

 Well I guess that explains the poor weight loss- I mean I am lucky that I am so controlled for my breakfasts and lunches otherwise I probably  would have gained weight this week. I have decided to only post when I loose or (hopefull never) gain a pound and maybe a weekly summary. I do weigh myself every day- but I need to- it encourages me to stay on track. Some people like to weigh themselves weekly- but I can let myself get out of hand if I do that. I use an electric scale so I can see every ounce I loose. As long as there is a loss I am ok. This weeks should be a better week.  I only have one or 2 nights out and neither will include a meal. My problem is when I drink I loose my will power- so I end up not only getting all the calories from the alcohol but also from  the binge eating I do when I am drunk!! I'll have to try and control myself- maybe make sure and not have  money at hand to buy food... Anyway wish me luck!

Weight 211.4 -down 1.8 lbs.

I am feeling great morning- as usual the first thing I did was go to the bathroom and then weigh myself (always after I pee!!). I was at best expecting to stay the same. I had even had a little pep talk saying- if I loose today I will be happy, if I stay the same I will be content- if I gain, I will only eat vegetables today ;) So to my delight this morning I weighed 211.4- this means I have lost a total of 5lbs since I started seriously dieting on Monday and 13lbs since Jan 6th.

My fear was I wouldn't be able to maintain my weight over the weekend. I'd gone out to see a my movie with friend, and then to dinner. knowing this I had a small bowl of cereal in the morning(not finishing the extra milk- every calorie counts) and had only a salad and a yogurt for lunch. Luckily we went to an independent film theater so there were no treats on sale to tempt, and my friend, supportively brought an 80 calorie bag of delicious velvent crunch 'chips'. Then we went out to dinner- the true test. I'd like to say I passed- but I did decide to treat myself. I had a seafood risotto- so I didn't go all out- seafood is very low in calories- risotto well with the cream, olive oil, and butter- probably not so good- but the portion was a nice size. That is something i like about living in Europe- you don't get those ridiculous sized portions at restaurants. Canada is pretty bad but whenever I go to the States, I always order 1 meal for 2 people. I guess a lot of people do because some restaurants have started putting no sharing on their menus. America wonders why it's the fattest country in the world- I would imagine the portion sizes served has something to do with it.

Anyway for dessert I couldn't resist and had a piece of chocolate cake, and a cappuccino (going against my rule to never ever drink calories-except alcohol ).   To be honest I didn't actually enjoy it as much as I thought I would. I guess I thought I had been reasonably good all week I would really enjoy a treat. But instead it was only ok and I felt like it wasn't be worth the extra calories. I actually felt a bit sick and very full. As I said the portions weren't big, but I think I have been eating such small portions of such light food that my stomach fills up much more quickly than I was realised.

I have also made a decision to see a counselor. I think I have some things to work out and they are probably influencing why I tend to sabotage myself when I am losing weight. As I have said before, this time I am really committed to making this work long term so I have to get to the root of the problem instead of just fixing the surface.

 I won't post my food journal and sins since I discussed it all in the post.

Congratulations to all those who have lost this week-and to those who haven't, try not to get discouraged. Tomorrow is another day and if you didn't do as well as you hoped this week, you get a fresh start next week. It is never too late to start again- trust me I know.

Weight 213 Down 2.6lbs

I was so happy when I weighed myself this morining- down another 2lbs- I get so encouraged by the pay off on the scales. Unfortunately I also get so discouraged when there is nothing. I just have to remind myself this time that there will be weeks that I won't loose weight and not to give up. Hopefully this blog will remind me how much effort I've put in at the beginning and encourage me to stick in there even when I plateau!! It just can be so overwhelming. I think to myself- even if I loose 30lbs I'll still be fat- and I know how hard it will be to loose 30lbs! I was talking to my friend last night saying to put so much effort in and it take so long to see the results I want- I just hope I will stay strong and committed to my goals. I have to do this for me- to feel better about myself and to feel attractive for my husband. He is so good to me, and always makes me feel beautiful- but I've gained 70 lbs since I met him- and to be honest if he gained 70lbs, it would probably bother me. I want to feel sexy again. I will keep these things in mind as I enter the weekend- away from the structured routine of work. I've made sure there is nothing 'bad' in my kitchen to eat- so if I want to over-eat it will have to be on fruits and veggies. Wish me luck!!

Food Journal

• bowl of multi-grain rice krispies w/ skim milk
• big saladwith fat free honey mustard dressing
• 2 tins of WW tuna
  
• 1 boiled egg
• 1 fat free yogurt
• 1 Kiwi
• 1/4 of a honeydew melon
• 1 banana
• lean steak
• baked potato with low fat cheese slice
  
• steamed veggies with lo cal spread
• corn on the cob
  
• 2- 30 cal/each 'ice cream' Popsicle
  

Diet Sins

• 1 fun size bag of Malteesers

Weight 215.6 Down 0.9.

Yay! I have officially lost a pound. Slow and steady wins the race. I just wish I could loose it as quickly as I can gain it. Today was a good day. I said no to the popcorn machine at work today- something I have not been able to do since we got it. It was thanks in part to this site. I had input what I ate yesterday into the calorie counter. I knew oil popped popcorn wasn't good for me- but since it is always home (or office) made you never get the nutritional facts. Well I found out that only 1 cup- much less than I would normally eat, had 8 grams of fat! Hopefully I will continue to be good at work. I am happy to say I have no diet sins to report- and the jeans that didn't fit me right after New Years- went on much more easily today- still a little snug though. (BTW I had lost about 7lbs before officially logging my progress- but it just kinda fell off as it was the weight I had gained over Christmas break). Seeing the scale go down is always encouraging- hopingto make it through the weekend sin-free!

Food Journal

• bowl of multi-grain rice krispies w/ skim milk
• big salad with 1 chicken breast with fat free honey mustard dressing
• 1 boiled egg
• 1 fat free yogurt
• 1 tin of WW tuna
  
• 1 cup of Strawberries & Blueberris
  
• 1/4 of a honeydew melon
• 1 banana
• I small can of reduced sugar baked beans
• turnip, carrot steamed
• 2 small baked potatoes with fat free dressing
  
• salad with fat free dressing
  
• 2- 30 cal/each 'ice cream' Popsicle

Day 3 Weight 216 down 0.6 pounds.

Today I was running late for my bus. I sped walked to the bus stop and then saw it coming, so I ran the last 30 metres. When i sat down I was panting heavily, felling flush and dizzy. now I've never been a sports lover or a particular active person- but this was shocking- 25 years old and I can't even run 2 seconds for a bus!!

I had a pretty good day diet wise. we have a popcorn machine at work- the MD thought it would bring some fun onto the floor- unfortunately for me all it brought was pounds :) It is so hard to avoid because smell comes all over the floor and everyone around you is munching. I took just one small handful and didn't go back so I feel good about that. I also had 1/4 of a doughnut- otherwise I kept on track.

I am all booked up for my salsa classes- but after this morning's fiasco with the bus I am more than a little nervous that my current fitness level will make for a humiliating hour- not to mention my 2 left feet! Oh well if you can't laugh at yourself- you take things too seriously.

Does anyone else find it hard to maintain a social life while trying to diet? I feel it can be all consuming sometimes. I have made plans to go out to a movie and dinner, on the weekend,  a few drinks on Friday and I have dinner plans next week. You know how after xmas you try and catch up with everyone you haven't seen in a while...I really want to reconnect but I feel it is so hard to make the best decisions in social settings. Will I have the will power to order a low cal meal? Will I only really have a few at the bar? I tend to get into the mindset well I've been good all week so I can treat myself on the weekend- and I do believe that every once and a while you have to treat yourself- but it's a slippery slope that I slid down more times than I would like to admit.  Determined to make it this time so I will just have to be strong!

Wishing you all strength and endurance!!

Food Journal

• bowl of multi-grain rice krispies w/ skim milk
• big salad with1 chicken breast with fat free honey mustard dressing
• 1 boiled egg
• 1 fat free yogurt
• 1 tin of WW tuna
  
• 1 cup of grapes
• 1/4 of a honeydew melon
• 1 banana
• veggie soup
• turnip, carrot and corn steamed
• 
  
• 1 bowl homemade fruit salad
• 1- 30 cal/each 'ice cream' Popsicle

Diet Sins

• 1/4 donough
• 1 cup oil popped pop corn
  

Day 2 Weight: 216.6. Down 0.3 (every little bit helps)

So here we go again... This is my first time blogging about my weight loss process but hopefully this will keep me motivated. Why now.... Well I spent xmas relaxing and staying around the house so I was in my sweats or pj bottoms most of the time. The Sunday night before I was heading back to work, my husband took me out to dinner. I went to get dressed and low and behold- I couldn't get my jeans on!! My size 16 jeans- which were my fat jeans! It took me 5 minutes to squeeze into them and then couldn't get the button fastened and the fly up. I actually had to wear a long loose top to hide the fact that my I was going out in public with my pants undone lol... well let's just say that was my catalyst. I came back to Dublin (husband is currently living in Paris- long story- I am Canadian btw)and weighed myself... I almost died when the scale lit up 223lbs!!! wow my previous high weight was 191- I had never broke 200lbs.

Last week I lost about 7 lbs just by returning to normal eating habits but I still have a long way to go. I don't know about you- but i always find it so overwhelming when I have so much weight to loose. I just think when I met my husband 3 years ago- I weighed 155lbs and I thought I was fat...it's so funny I would give anything to be that size again! I am committed to making this time different. I will be more reasonable with my goals so as not to get discouraged and I will set a diet that I can maintain long term. I used to always try to do a kickstart of severe calorie restriction but it is so draining and unmaintainable.  I know this might be boring but I am planning to post my daily food intake as a kind of confessional. This week I convinced some friends and colleagues to join a Salsa Slimming class. It's 1hr a week for 10 weeks and hopefully will be more fun than the gym. I invited colleagues so I can't skip out as they will see me at work and know when I bail, and friends to I feel obilgated not the let them down. I find I stick to things better when others are depending on me than when it is just for myself...I know I should really work on that.

I have decided to follow the Weight Watchers core plan- I've done WW so many times I have literally memorized the point value of every food know to man- in 2 different countries:) it's the only one that works for me- but it only works while I do it- which is half the problem I guess lol. I am moderating the diet a little bit- I am going to try and cut out carbs as much as possible and only get them from fruits and vegetables- with the odd potato, and treat myself once or twice a week with pasta or rice for dinner. There are a lot of salads in my future which is fine- I like salad and rarely get sick of them.  I grilled 5 chicken breasts on the weekend on a non-stick pan and sliced them up and put them in the fridge and made a HUGE salad so everyday I grab a big container put a big portion of the salad some chicken breast slices and a boiled egg to help fill me up along with a fat free yogurt. I bring plenty of fruit to snack on- in fact I have a fruit bowl on my desk... however I am still tempted by the chocolate treats colleagues have brought in to share post-xmas. I have also planned a vacation with a friend at the end April and have set an ambitious mini goal of 25lbs- hopefully the sunny days ahead will be a good motivation!

Food Journal

• bowl of multi-grain rice krispies w/ skim milk
• big salad with1 chicken breast with fat free honey mustard dressing
• 1 boiled egg
• 1 fat free yogurt
• 1 cup of grapes
• 1/4 of a honeydew melon
• 1 tangerine
• home-made veggie Thai stir-fry with chicken breast
• 1/2 cup of rice
• 1 bowl homemade fruit salad
  
• 2- 30 cal/each 'ice cream' Popsicle
  

Diet Sins

• 2 Fererro Rochette 

Great Diet Find

Hb Mini Milk frozen treats 30 Cal, 0.7 g Fat 

(it's the lowest cal frozen treat I have found in Ireland- similar to Skinny Cow in Canada/US, it comes in a multipack of strawberry, vanilla and chocolate)

Good luck to all of you starting your weight loss challenge and to those you who feel like 'here we go again' you are not alone.