everyone said it would catch up to me someday-boy were they right! can you believe i actually had to GAIN weight to go into the air force? that was a LONG time ago....

i cried for an hour after i took these pictures this morning.

i cried for myself

i cried for my family

i cried for my friends

hell i cried for the economy (remember that thing that we blame everything one!)- hey i still have my sense of humor :)

riding to southlake in brandy's car! for those who don't know, brandy's car is painted bright orange and is "decorated" with radical bumbe stickers and slogans. not exactly the usual southlake vehicle :)

clininc staff and doctor were VERY friendly, i dare so, moe so than my own doctor, whom i have been going to for many years. go figure.

light-hearted laughter when appropriate to ease the nerves was nice.

a little shocked to see that i actualy weighed more than i did when i was 9 months pregnant! how did i ever let it get this way? busy with life i suppose.

well i let it get to this and now at least i have made the first step in going the other direction. never go back-just go forward in a new direction.

pics today.

Tonight's the last night! So I made egg rolls galore! yummmmmmmmmm

Tomorrrow's the big day! My first appointment at the MEDI-Weightloss center is tomorrow. I'm a lot more nervous than I thought I would be. Funny-I actually had to GAIN weight to go in the Air Force! LOL that was a LONG time ago!

I moved the size 8 rockin' black suit to the front of the closet as motivation. Or maybe I will get so hungry that I decide to eat it!

Today I weigh the same amount I did the day I gave birth to my (now 19) son! How crazy (and AWFUL) is that?!?! I weigh as much as a 9 month pregnant woman-that is ridiculous! It's not as though I am falling victim to the perils of Hollywood and magazine covers-I just want to fit in a decent size and not run out of breath climbing a lousy three flights of stairs!

Details on the program and first pics tomorrow :)

Who am I beyond the surface? There is a widely held perception that the package tells all. What do you see when you look at me? Who do I see when I look at me? Do we see the same thing? Is it the years creeping up? Is it the education and resume? Does any of that matter at all?

We have a predefined sense of beauty. In some ways we are much like the rest of the world-but in many ways we are not. We have a superficial view of the things we see. That is not necessarily a bad thing.

I have embarked on a new journey. After the past year of deceit from a business partner I have begun to look at what I see when I make contact with another. I am not talking about a "Blink" factor here-rather, something more, something deeper. (no offense to a master of the art of marketing and business).

This is my journey of weightloss, and hopefully something so much more.

If you want to join the contest-or just follow along on the daily work find me on facebook cassaundra stjohn