i never really imagined myself writting about this thing that has plagued me my entire life. it never had crossed my mind until i got on that God forsaken scale and found i had gained 26 pounds in the last year.  sure i was heavy before but now i'm even heavier.  i can't imagine how the pounds just creeped up on me.  so tonight i decided this is it. i have high blood pressure, a history of heart disease and stroke in my family. a change needs to happen and i can't keep putting it off. i need to do it for myself  but i also need to be around for the 4 beautiful kiddos, sleeping peacefully in there beds at 2 am. so i lay it all on the line.. tonight it stops.. the count down begins.. 238....