Pay Attention to Your Kids: Jon & Kate Plus Eight

Jon and Kate Gosselin announced their divorce.  They are worried for their kids and they should be – it’s hard for a child to get through his parents’ divorce.  What can you do to help your child in a case like this?

You definitely have to talk to him about divorce and separation.  A child needs to feel loved and protected.  He should be told kids can't cause divorce.  Usually kids take the blame on themselves, even if they don’t admit it. 

Another problem may appear when kids will try to fix it by getting their mom and dad back together.  Some kids will try achieving their goals acting like a model kid, taking good marks.  Others may be the opposite – will try to make their parents life like hell, just to make them talk, to see both parents caring about them.

During a divorce kids may feel so many things they didn’t feel before, so they might not know it’s normal to have such feelings.  They think their whole world is falling apart, that’s way children should be reassured it’s going to be all right soon.

Children don’t know what comes next after a divorce, so they should be explained with whom they’ll live, also reassured they will see the other parent plenty of time.  Will they change the neighborhood, school, or friends?  Though days.  They will need help and lots of attention to get used with new things.

A big mistake is to make the kids messengers between their parents.  It’s hard enough they have to “migrate” from a parent to another; they shouldn’t feel like they are in the middle.

Children should know they can count on their parents even if they are separated.  The divorce includes only the parents, not the kids as well, an important thing that many children don’t know.